What is dating violence?


Please read further if someone you date does one of the following…..

  • Keeps you away from your friends and family
  • Makes you feel scared
  • Constantly calls, texts or emails you
  • Checks your phone and email without permission
  • Threatens suicide if you break up
  • Pressures or forces you to have sex
  • Threatens to tell private things or post private photos of you
  • Starts a fight that never seems to end
  • Always accuses you of cheating
  • Makes you feel badly about yourself
  • Pushes or hits you

Dating violence is a type of intimate partner violence. It occurs between two people in a close relationship. The nature of dating violence can be physical, emotional, or sexual.  Dating violence can take place in person or electronically.

Every relationship is different, but the one thing that is common to most abusive dating relationships is that the violence escalates over time and becomes more and more dangerous for the young victim.  For an example, dating violence may start with teasing and name calling but these behaviors can lead to more serious violence like physical assault and rape.

Abuse is still abuse even if it only happens “once in awhile” or if your partner promises not to hurt you again.

What Does Dating Violence Look Like?

Click once, and then twice to enlarge wheel.

The Power and Control Wheel above describes many different types of abuse.  Please see below for further information.

Emotional Abuse

Includes a wide range of behaviours intended to hurt, demean, criticize, humiliate, threaten, and/or control another person through the use of fear, anxiety, confusion, and dependence, including but not limited to:
  • ongoing and intense criticism;
  • name-calling and other forms of verbal abuse designed to hurt, embarrass, and humiliate;
  • threats to harm self;
  • reckless and dangerous behaviour, such as running red lights and dangerous driving;
  • excessive jealousy and possessiveness;
  • excessive interest in and control over daily activities
  • imposed social isolation

Sexual Abuse

Includes sexually intrusive, abusive, and controlling behaviours designed to meet the needs of the abuser including but not limited to:
  • unwanted or forced sexual contact with partner or others;
  • unwanted or forced use of objects during sexual contact;
  • unwanted or forced modifications to a person’s body, such as shaving pubic hair;
  • exposure to and/or forced participation in pornography;
  • exposure to and/or transmission of sexually transmitted diseases by denying use of protection and/or denying possibility of transmission –and-
  • sexually humiliating and demeaning comments, jokes, and accusations

Stalking and Harassment

Includes behaviours designed to maintain unwanted or forced contact between an abuser and his victim, generate fear, and/or to allow the abuser to observe, monitor, and control his partner’s activities including but not limited to:
  • being followed;
  • being contacted repeatedly through direct or indirect communication;
  • having your home, school or workplace watched -and-
  • receiving threats to self family and friends

Physical Abuse
Includes violent, hurtful, and aggressive behaviours including but not limited to:
  • hitting, punching, and slapping;
  • kicking;
  • shoving, pushing, dragging, and hair pulling;
  • restraining;
  • spitting and biting;
  • choking

Did you know?

Among adult victims of rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner, 22.4% of women and 15.0% of men first experienced some form of partner violence between 11 and 17 years of age ( The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 Summary Report).

Approximately 9% of high school students report being hit, slapped, or physically hurt on purpose by a boyfriend or girlfriend in the 12 months before surveyed (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Youth risk behavior surveillance, 2011).

How to get help…

Call 911 if you are in danger or hurt.  Arrange an emergency signal with a trusted friend or relative to call 911 for you if you are in danger and unable to call.

Call your local police service to report an incident of abuse.

City of Kawartha Lakes Police Services (Lindsay)

705-324-5252
6 Victoria Ave. N., Lindsay, ON, K9V 4E5

OPP (Minden)

705-286-1431 / 1-888-310-1122
PO Box 58, Hwy #35, Minden, ON K0M 2KO

OPP (Lindsay)

705-324-6741 / 1-888-310-1122
21 Angeline St. N., Lindsay, ON, K9V 5B7

Call Kids Help Phone at 1-800-668-6868.

Contact local counselling services for safety planning.

Kawartha Sexual Assault Centre (Peterborough)

705-748-5901 / 1-866-298-7778
411 Water Street, Suite 102, Peterborough, ON K9H 3L9

www.kawarthasexualassaultcentre.com

Niiijkiwendidaa Anishnaabe Kwewag Services Circle (Peterborough)

705-741-0900 / 1-800-663-2696
164 Hunter Street West, Peterborough, ON, K9H 2L2

www.niijki.com

Women’s Health Centre, Peterborough Regional Health Centre (Peterborough)

705-743-4132 / 1-800-419-3111
1 Hosptial Drive, 4th Floor, Peterborough, ON K9J 7C6

www.prhc.on.ca/WomensHealth

Women’s Resources of Kawartha Lakes (Lindsay)

705-878-4285 / 1-800-565-5350
22 Russell Street East, Lindsay, ON K9V 2A1

www.womensresources.ca

YWCA Women’s Centre (Minden)

705-286-6442 / 1-800-461-7656
PO Box 348, 11 Bobcaygeon Road, Minden, ON K0M 2K0

www.ywcapeterborough.org

Contact local shelter if over the age of 16 and need of a safe place to stay.

Anishnaabe Kwewag Gamig (Alderville)

905-352-3708 / 1-800-388-5171

www.akgshelter.com

A Place Called Home (Lindsay)

705-328-0905 /1-866-520-2689

http://aplacecalledhome.org

Women’s Resources – Victoria’s Shelter (Lindsay)

705-878-3662 / 1-800-565-5350

www.womensresources.ca

YWCA HERS and Crossroads (Haliburton)

705-286-6442 / 1-800-461-7656

www.ywcapeterborough.org/hers

Also To Consider:

Let your school principal, counsellor or teacher know of the danger you’re in so they can hlep you plan for your safety at school; also safe arrival and departure from school.

Keep a record of your abuse in a journal. Take photos of your injuries and save harassing and /or threatening texts and emails to share with police.